Just felt like updating here on what's happening in my life!
Which is pretty much nothing.
I got work up to the 18th of December, right before I travel to Finland to spend Christmas with my lovely ~KingKaarle I really look forward to that, judging by the fact that for the last months I've been very... I dunno, numb to everything, but that will be over at some point!
Don't worry, it's not like I'm depressed or any of that matter! It's just that after two amazing years as a student, living away from home, meeting new people, seeing new places and being my own boss, returning home to build up more economy and such is perhaps clever, but also very boring. But I was prepared for that, this year will be boring!
I know so many people who say they just love coming "home" after living alone. For me it's the complete opposite now, I just love being far away from home where I feel a bit more connected to myself and in control of my own life without the constant "pressure" to be the daughter my parents want me to be.
This doesn't feel like my home anymore either. I feel like an intruder, and under constant watch. I can't make the food I love, I can't stay up late watching TV, I can't wander around in comfort, can't leave a book on the table without feeling guilty for making a mess. It's all so small, stupid things, but they really are things I learned to appreciate as a student!
I'm working a lot of overtime this week, which means moneeehhh and at the same time about no energy to do anything else. My work is very repetitive, but it pays well, and I work hard so I can get a good reputation from my boss. She might hire me again from New Year if she sees I can still be useful then, but this is the kind of job where they hire a certain amount of people for a short period of time through this requit company, then we're off and workless again.
I think my ideal job would be working in a bookstore. I worked for one week in a bookstore at secondary school during this work project week. That work, too, was very repetitive because I only did the basic stuff. But being surrounded by books, walking around clearing, keeping in order, meeting customers and just being on my feet and doing various tasks made time go fast, and I had fun!
But any work I can get is good, I'll keep my feet on the ground for now and take what is given to me.
I hope by next week when I start working normal work hours again, plus get my paycheck, that I can tidy up a bit in my head. I miss having a really good laugh, an evening without worries and at least one day without this stressed lump clutching in my chest. I thought getting a job would be the solution, but apparently I'm just a bitch to please, eh!
I wish I could be one of those free spirited artists and writers who just zoom off into a risky, storming life with ups and downs and everything in between. I'm probably going to, just... be lame for one year to get a decent savings account running and not end up on the street!
(Although being homeless would be an interesting experience, no doubt!)
I have read too many blogs from people who became homeless on purpose...
Now off to adventuuuuuuure – in my sleep. In this job you just can't be tired, then you're doomed to mess everything up
Good night, everybody, and keep up with whatever you're doing!